We all have been faced with having to say goodbye. Saying goodbye usually produces great heartache. I hope this post will help you reflect on your past goodbyes and help them add meaning to your future hellos.
I was born in Nyack, New York. I only lived there for approximately 6 weeks. My dad was an operating engineer for Esso, working in Aruba. So I spent the first 5 years of my life living on the “non-tourist” end of the island. When we left for another job assignment I can remember saying goodbye to all my friends. I especially remember saying goodbye to Billy, the black goat in our Kindergarten class!
As we grow older our goodbyes get harder. With the nature of my dad’s employment I spent 17 years of my life traveling worldwide. I attended many schools, and said goodbye to many friends. Looking back, it was an education in itself being able to travel worldwide, but it also meant that I missed out on the normal growing up functions of life. Longtime childhood friends, school activities, such as a prom, and your high school friendships rank on the top of the list. I became a pro at saying “goodbye.” I truly believe that leaving so many friends is the reason I place such importance on relationships.
I recently received a notice about the death of one of my high school classmates. He had lost his battle with cancer. This prompted me to reflect on my life and thus wanting to share my feelings with others.
Goodbyes are an integral part of our lives. We all go through changing jobs and saying goodbye to people we have worked with and grown close to. My relationships with people are very important to me. I can remember one job in particular. I worked for SMRT, Inc. in Portland, Maine. On my last day I managed to sob my way around 42 desks saying goodbye. These people still hold a warm place in my heart. This was my most gratifying, favorite job, other than being a mom!
Being a mom of two girls who loved animals, as do I, I have said many goodbyes to parakeets, dogs, cats, fish, rabbits and the list goes on. I am one of those people who gets extremely attached to a pet so these were hard times. I had a dog, Benson, I got as a puppy right after I was divorced who was a true, loyal friend. He was always there to listen to the hard times I was going through. After twelve years he became very ill, lost control of his bodily functions and was going blind. I could not see him suffer any more so I had to have him put to sleep. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I still to this day get teary-eyed when I think of him and that was 18 years ago.
It is a devastating goodbye that we say to our parents when they die. When our close friends pass away it is very hard. I feel when we lose these people we suffer more from our loss. These special people have gone on to a better place!
Two more hard goodbyes to express are those at the time of a divorce (or an intimate relationship), and also when your children grow up and get married and you say your goodbyes and wish them well in their new lives. That is a bitter sweet goodbye because as parents it is our goal to raise our children to be independent and be able to leave home to start on their own journey.
Yes goodbyes are difficult. Hopefully, we learn something from each one of these losses (or changes in our lives). As with my dad, he was the one who truly taught me the meaning of love. I lost him when I was only 22 years old. That left an enormous void in my life. He never got to see, know and impart his wisdom to my children. These losses have helped me grow stronger in my life.
Because of my goodbyes I look at the new people that come into my life in a whole new light. I wonder why I have met them, what I can learn from them, and how can I make a difference in their lives? I always ask, “Why has God brought this person to me?” when I meet someone new. Nothing happens by accident. I look forward to where this new relationship will take me. I want to add value to the time spent with people in my life. I want to leave a loving legacy behind me. I do not want to live my life thinking about what I could have, would have or should have done!
Life goes by much too quickly. Never miss the opportunity to tell someone how much you care for them. Never miss the opportunity to help another person. Live your life making a difference in other people’s lives. Remember to live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God.
I wish you a life full of opportunities to share your love with others!
Judy Conway
Email: judyconwaymarketing@gmail.com
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