Tag-Archive for ◊ Communication ◊

Author: Judy Conway
• Monday, June 14th, 2010

The news has been laden with the fact that obesity in children is reaching overwhelming percentages.  I hope the following information will be helpful to parents seeking solutions to this situation.  I would like to preface this article by saying I was an obese child.  At the age of 13 I was around 5 feet tall I weighed in at 160 pounds.  My heart goes out to children in this category as I know it was not a happy time in my life.

As was my case, research shows that the root of the problem with our children, as with adults, is that we are suffering from emotional eating.  My mother, unfortunately, was not well versed on healthy nutrition and if I was having a difficult day or feeling upset her usual solution was, “Go get a dish of ice cream.”  Now truthfully, that was the last thing I needed!

Childhood and adolescence obesity increases the risk of developing high cholesterol, hypertension, respiratory ailments, orthopedic problems, depression and type 2 diabetes as a youth. One disease of particular concern is Type 2 diabetes, which is linked to obesity and has increased dramatically in children and adolescents, particularly in American Indian, African American and Hispanic/Latino populations.

Family environment can definitely add to emotional eating problems.  With the divorce rate on the rise as well, a lot of children are dealing with split custody situations.  Or, if the parents are choosing to stay together for the sake of the children, the increased tension in the household between the parents does not promote a healthy environment.

Lack of healthy communication and support between parents and their children creates insecurity within the child and only adds to the challenges they are facing in their lives.  Quality time spent with your children is much more important than quantity of time.  With a lot of parents having to work two jobs to make ends meet with our economic crisis it is difficult to spend quality time with their children.  Let’s face it by the time you get home after working two jobs you barely have the energy to climb into bed let alone have a good one on one conversation with our children.

While on the issue of time this prompts another issue.  Fast- food, or prepared foods you pick up at the grocery store are not going to be as healthy as meals you personally prepare taking into consideration the nutritional value of what you are eating.  Remember excessive calories and lack of exercise is going to result in stored fat!

Children who come home after school and spend hours alone may not be making the healthiest food choices.  Be sure that the snacks that are available are not going to sabotage a good eating program.  It might take some extra planning on your part, but it will definitely be worth it.  The internet is full of tips and suggestions for making right food choices.

Being overweight causes self esteem problems amongst peers causing self-induced pressure and leading to a child feeling very overwhelmed.  Overweight children lack popularity with other children.  It is sad to say, but it is true.  They end up feeling “different” and alone.

When children are experiencing these situations they turn to something to lessen these feelings.  Some children turn to “comfort food”.  This is a real problem.  Instead of being able to sit down and talk over what is bothering them, children turn to a dish of ice cream, a bowl of cookies and a glass of milk, or other less than nutritious food choices.

Before dealing with the food issue, it is important to recognize if there are other issues involved.  Create a healthy communication and support system for your child.  Once that is established it will be a lot easier to get the message about healthy nutrition and exercise across and show them the process that will benefit them, not only now in their younger years but even as an adult.

Healthy, fit bodies fill our air waves putting more stress on those of us, children and adults alike, whose bodies are not picture perfect.  Vitality takes second place to physical appearance.

Living a healthy life involves much more than just your appearance.  Exercise, healthy food and nutrition choices will play a big part in the quality of your child’s life now and later.  It is important to get your child’s attention by sharing with them the illnesses mentioned previously in this article that can be directly related to obesity.  Choose the tactics you will use with your child before you delve into your conversation.  Perhaps there is a family member that suffers, or suffered from illnesses related to obesity.

There are many mixed messages out there.  It is important for parents to be involved with proper education in helping their children.  Too often the blame is placed on the school lunch program or someone else responsible for caring for the child.

In closing, I personally feel that a good way to approach a situation with an overweight child is to make it a family effort.  Everyone in the family can do well to learn better eating habits and a healthy exercise routine.  Our children have an overabundance of video games. Unlike the “days of old” when kids were out playing ball or other outdoor activities, many children sit for hours in front of video games.  The Wii System can be an asset with its many programs that get children up and moving.

Yes, obesity is a hard thing to deal with.  As I am finishing up this article the thought crossed my mind that this is a situation that can be challenging to deal with, but the same situations that cause emotional eating habits can also drive children into much more serious problems, like drugs.

Our children are valuable human beings.  God has put them in our lives to raise and help them grow up to be individuals that will add value to this world.  I hope that you will find the time and joy to develop a happy, secure lifestyle with your children.  I wish you success in dealing with obesity in children.

Judy Conway

Email:  judyconwaymarketing@gmail.com
http://beadazzledjewelrycreations.com
http://homebusinessinatlanta.com
Skype ID: judy.conway

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Author: Judy Conway
• Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
SAN FRANCISCO - JULY 24: Sal Mora talks on his...
Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Have you ever noticed in our world of tweets, emails, and texting (just to mention a few modes of communication used nowadays) that there are a lot of people chatting, but are they really being heard?  Are we really listening to each other?

We receive Twitter messages in our email, but do we really have communication with the person who initiated the message?  How many times do we just hit “delete” and move onto the next message in our inbox.  The same thing applies to messages we receive from Facebook that someone either wants us to confirm their friendship or comment on one of our posts.  Do we always respond?

Then there are actual email messages.  First thing in the morning before scurrying to begin a busy day we sit down to check our inbox. We tend to scan messages we have received, maybe answer one or two of high importance and make a mental note to respond to those which remain.  Before we know it the day has ended, we are ready to eat dinner and spend a relaxing evening with our family and then it is off to bed.  The “respond to later” group grows daily.  Often times they just get deleted once too much time has elapsed.  Here we find a break in the chain of communication.

We are definitely living in an age of advanced communication technology.  We have computers for our Tweets and Facebook posts, IPhones, BlackBerrys and plain cell phones.  Can you remember when we did not have a cell phone?

With the use of blue tooth it took me a while not to respond to a person standing next to me in a store when the spoke.  I now know that they are speaking with someone on their cell phone.

If you take your kids to the park to spend “quality” time with them and you get a call, or a text message how long is it before you forget why you are there?  How long is it before your children just decide that they are not being heard?  You are busy with a digital conversation. The face-to-face communication with your child has run amuck.

A cell phone is great when we need to take care of an emergency at work and put a solution into the works.  However, how many times are you out to dinner with your spouse, or family and they are looking forward to your being part of the occasion, and you get that dreaded call demanding your full attention.  Communication at your table comes to a standstill!  They are talking, but you are not listening.

We are living in a culture that demands constant connectivity with no respect to what we are personally doing.  You could be having dinner out, or at home, sleeping or in the shower and our hand held devices have no mercy.  We snap to attention.

Whatever happened to our face-to-face communication? I have a very dear friend who made a very wise comment to me.  He told me that he did not send emails, or read them.  “Emails do not tell me how you are really feeling,” he said.  How true is that?  Granted we can express our thoughts in an email, and even put a certain tone in what we are saying, but where is the personal interaction we used to enjoy?

Another misuse of emails or texting, in my opinion, is when a person goes on a rant about something they are displeased with and without truly considering their words they put how they feel out there and do not really care about the person on the other end reading it.  Unfortunately, as much as the world is a much smaller place and people are able to stay in contact more readily with digital capabilities, our personal consideration of others can get lost.  Once those words are out there the damage is done, you cannot take them back.

Obviously, I am part of the digital world of communication.  I appreciate your reading my article.  I also personally realize, from the expression on a child’s face, or even on an adult’s face, the importance of being listened to and truly heard.

In closing, I am hoping that this might prompt some thoughts on sharing your voice, your true personal face-to-face communication and actually listening to a person to hear what they are trying to say.  We need to step back and realize that conversation, as we once knew it, is on the decline.  We also need to recognize how conversation is changing and try to keep somewhat a balance in our communication.

Happy Tweeting, Texting and Chit Chatting.  Make sure that when all is said and done you have been truly listening and heard what has been said!

Judy Conway
Email: judyconwaymarketing@gmail.com
Skype ID: judy.conway
http://homebusinessinatlanta.com
http://fullservicemarketingtools.com

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Author: Judy Conway
• Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
Dede Mirabal conversing with journalists at th...
Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever found yourself engaged in a conversation being more eager about talking about yourself than listening to what the other person is saying. Successful communication requires having an attentive mindset as well as verbalizing your thoughts. Many associations fail because people talk “at” each other.

Unless someone hears what has been said the words have little value. The person trying to communicate feels that their contribution in the relationship is of little value. When we feel that we are being heard we are more likely to engage in negotiation and compromise. Listening involves far more than words. Facial expressions and body language is often a far more accurate barometer than the words that are being used. In the case of consoling a person, you might want to gently touch their hand, or even give them a hug to show you really care. You need to listen actively to be an active listener.

Here are several pointers that may assist you in becoming a more effective listener. Make eye contact. Do not just verbalize while you are looking all around the room. Look at the person you are speaking to. Read the body language of the talker. Are they relaxed, anxious, angry? It is easy to recognize the extremes, but the message is sometimes more subtle. React in a like manner to subtly mirror the other person’s body language. Nodding in response to what is being said to you shows the other person you are listening.

Make appropriate responses. If you are unclear about what is being said, ask relevant questions and ask for clarification. Do not just nod in response at what you “think” was said.  This can end up being very hurtful and embarrassing if your response is negative when it should have been positive.  At the close of the conversation, summarize your understanding of what was said. The “who”, “what”, “where” and “when” open ended questions are recommended. When responding to questions, and interacting in a conversation, make sure the tone of your voice does come across as judgmental. Do not elude an interrogative manner. The old saying, “It is not so much what you say, but how you say it” rings true in this instance.

If the person you are conversing with is relating a traumatic experience or hardship, be empathetic. Acknowledge difficulties being careful not to relate similar experiences you have had. Simply say, ” I sense that you are finding this rather difficult”, rather than “Oh I know how you feel, a similar thing happened to me, but it was a lot more difficult.” It is important that the person you are speaking with senses your honesty and sincerity. It will be obvious if your conversation lacks these qualities.

Do not make the mistake of thinking ahead to what you want to say next. Doing this takes your mind off the conversation at hand,and and you come across as having a lack of interest attitude. Be totally attentive. It is amazing how much more enjoyable a conversation is when we allow the input of others! You will also learn a lot.

Happy listening!

Judy Conway
Email: judyconwaymarketing@gmail.com
Skype ID: judy.conway
http://homebusinessinatlanta.com
http://fullservicemarketingtools/com
http://joinjudyconway.com/bestdealsonline
http://joinjudyconway.com/digitalcameradeals

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