There is so much in the news nowadays about the economic bailout situation in our country. How can our young people not hear about it and wonder how it affects them? I am sure there are many parents wondering exactly how much information they need to share with their children, especially concerning their personal financial situation. I hope that what I have to say will shed some light on that issue and also help with the guilt that I know parents are feeling at not being able to give their kids all the want.
I remember a time in my life that I was suffering from hard personal economic problems. My girls were 11 and 12 years old. I was recently divorced and a struggling single mom. Financially, we did not have much. It was in 1981 and granted things were a little less expensive. We lived in southern Florida. I became a pro at feeding my girls on $10.00 a week. Although we did not have money in our pockets we had a lot of love in our hearts. We were blessed to have found an awesome church family at the First Christian Church of Boca Raton. The first time I walked into that church my thought was, “These people really love one another.” They reached out to me and my girls and truly showed us the love of Christ. I am forever grateful to this family of friends.
When Christmas came I just didn’t have any money for gifts. The girls needed new nightgowns so those were more of a necessity than a gift. I felt so very sad. My children had been through a lot. Divorce is not easy on the spouses, but it is very difficult on the children as well. Christmas Eve I wrapped the nightgowns and put them under the tree. I sat down with a very heavy heart and cried. Why is it when we can’t “buy” things for our children we feel like failures?
As I sat there that night I wrote my girls notes that ended up being my true Christmas gifts to them. Sometimes, as parents, we try to hide our feelings from our children. Don’t under estimate their ability to understand. I found that with being “real” with my girls we were very close and shared each other’s burdens. My notes simply, but sincerely, told them how much I truly loved them and was there for them. I expressed my sadness for not being able to buy them lots of gifts…but I did give them the greatest gift I had to offer….My Love!!
The nightgowns were a hit but let me tell you the notes ended up being very special gifts. I was never afraid to say, “I’m sorry”, “I made a mistake”, or most importantly, “I love you” to my girls. There were times when the stress of a day caused me to lose my temper and composure and I would find myself sitting on the bottom of their beds tearfully apologizing. I used to say, “When you came into this world, God did not have instructions tied on your toes!” I was the first to admit, I was not perfect, and I made mistakes.
I hope that you will find in this financially difficult time of the year that you can be honest with your children. Simple joy will benefit us all more than beginning 2009 in debt and facing a personal economic bailout. They can handle a lot more than you think and in the long run you will draw closer together and be able to share the best gift you can give each other….the love in your heart.
I truly wish you hearts filled with love, an awesome Christmas and a 2009 that will be filled with lots of “Aha” joyful moments.
Blessings,
Judy Conway
This post was written on December 13, 2008
Save money on what you are already doing!
